Every road we walk in life, be it personal or professional, leads back to the place we found ourselves in when we began to dream about what our lives might become. From that place of indelible power where the roots dig deep into our childhood, we’ve dreamed about where the road we call life will end up. In that moment we have no perspective on the pitfalls, the challenges, indeed the sorrow which lay ahead, and so our dreams of the future are not scuttled by the wisdom we will gain.
When I was a child I dreamed about being an astronaut, floating among the blackness of space with the stars as my blanket. I preferred the comfort of an endless field of planets and spaceships to my terrestrial surroundings. Escaping was never a problem for me. If I could dream it, I could do it. I see it today for what it was, in part a defense mechanism, but also a path to place my feet on where I was in command of where I was going. This is no different than any other child. The palatable lack of control they have over their lives and the independence they see in the adults around them fuels this desire, just as it did mine. As the youngest child it was harder because you see your closest family members claim that personal flag far sooner than you do, further increasing that misaligned perspective you already hold. No amount of discussion with my parents alleviated the burning desire I had to strike it out on my own.
Once I started down the long and winding road which is adulthood, I felt as if I was prepared for the challenges that would present themselves. The motley crew I called my circle of friends was filled with older and more experienced people, and the wisdom they had was easier to connect with. I felt they were my peers rather than the authoritarians I saw my parents being. I didn’t come to understand the ordeals my parents warned me about until I went through them myself. This is the life I was meant to lead – one filled with challenges and hard work to attain what I’d dreamed about all those decades ago in my bunk bed. I still want to be an astronaut and perhaps one day I’ll find my way into space, but I won’t be alone.
You see another person has joined me on this road. Another soul has decided to walk this path with me, to see the pitfalls and challenges together, with each one giving strength to the other. I couldn’t have envisioned this years ago in my darkest hour, but the road has turned and the path is brighter now that it has ever been. We will collect the sands of our lives together, because there can be no castle unless both our hands work to build it. No one is more important than the other, for the duality our hearts share has become a single point in time. It is love like I have never known, and my heart guards it in justified jealousy.
This is where the road has led me and now I wait in rapturous joy over what the road means for the both of us. No adventure before will be as wonderful, and when life takes an unexpected turn, we will have each other to lean on in even the hardest times.
My brother Brian released an amazing record recently – SUMMERLAND – and even if you don’t collect vinyl I highly recommend you take the opportunity to support some of the best Synthwave music out there.
Here’s the video from the title track
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Addendum – One week – just seven days to go. It hardly seems possible after seeing the wedding clock at 200+ days a few months back. Yet somehow we are here. I look forward to all the stress bleeding away and just enjoying the day with friends and family. Emalee and I deserve to soak in every mote of energy and love from the day we’ve longed for, and I know we will.